Doorman (in)discretion

In my early twenties I did a favor to my self esteem and made a pledge that I would never ever allow myself to feel scrutinized by the so called “doorman discretion door policy.” Meaning, if there’s a huge mob at the door and a line to get in, simply skip the place unless you are on the VIP list of course. And here I was, not once, but TWICE in the same week, waiting (freezing really) behind the velvet rope in line at a happening New York club. Two different nights in the Meatpacking District, completely different crowds, but both times had a similarly bizarre doorman interaction. If there’s something I learned every time I break the pledge is that you have to deal with "the gatekeeper situation". Here are my two accounts of my latest bouncer interaction condensed in less than 3 days. The first one happened at Rendezvous (RDV) with a large group of girls, and the second at 1 Oak, with a huge group of mostly guys. Know that this is not to disencourage you, but only to make you feel like you are not the only one out there. Know that if you really want to get into a happening venue, you CAN!


How to do it with a bunch of girls: We were seven. “Are you on the list?” asks the bouncer who fits the stereotype which is too obvious to be described here. Why do they make you feel so humiliated when you say “no we are not”? Long story short. Ladies, you know the drill: loose the pout and attitude (save it for the dance floor); put on your sweet subservient “I need you” face on. (Urgh…like I said, humiliating.) Listen to him complain and explain it’s impossible to get in tonight. Wait a bit. Listen to him lecturing you about how you should have called to be on the list. Listen him puff. Wait a bit more. Don’t say anything. As if by magic, the velvet rope snaps open, you can go down the narrow stairs to one of the hottest basements in town. Yeah, so impossibly hot and inaccessible that five minutes after we arrived the manager offered us a bottle of champagne on the house. From “not worthy” to VIPs in 10 minutes. Very coherent door policy discretion wouldn’t you agree?

How to do it with a bunch of guys: We were like… eight guys and three girls. Similar scenario. First reaction: always rejection. You pretend you did not hear him. You wait. He comes back, looks for the alpha male of the pack, calls him to the front. Whispering goes on, velvet rope lifts (just for alpha male) who is whisked inside. Five long and cold minutes later, we are called in. Group leader has slipped a couple of hundreds into doorman’s trouser pockets in the name of access for his troop. Money talks. Louder then the thumping house music inside.

Favela in Brooklyn

Favela in Brooklyn

Don’t worry, it’s NOT what you think! Times are tough, but the Manhattan outskirts are far from being plagued with shantytowns. Miss Favela (“favela” means slum in Portuguese) is a friendly upbeat joint that serves the Brazilian national dish: “feijoada” (pork and black beans stew) amongst other authentic flavors such as “moqueca” (fish stew in coconut milk), “carne seca” (beef jerky) and mandioquinha (fried yucca strips). The atmosphere is like partying on the hills of Rio without the view. The décor is typical of a carioca bar: informal and very colorful. If this place is anything like the French bistro Felix of the same owner Alain Denneulin in Soho, Miss Favela came to stay and conquer the podium as one of Williamsburg’s trendiest spots. Sip the infamous national drink “caipirinha” and join the cheery Brazilian crowd dancing to the live samba music. You might not move as smooth as Brazilian hips, but I guarantee that the cachaca (sugar cane rum) in your caipirinha will definitely improve your sway on the dance floor!
Miss Favela, 57 South 5th Street at Wythe Street, Williamsburg, Brooklyn 718 230-4040.

More hot-el deals!

When it comes to New York City hotels, we just can't get enough of exclusive hotel discount offers. This information came through "A Small World", the selective online community where membership is by invitation only. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t share this very practical information with my friends! If you are planning a New York trip soon, this will definitely be of your interest.
Ian Shrager’s Gramercy Park Hotel, one of the most in vogue hotels of the moment (actually for the past 2 years since its opening), is offering a 50% discount of every second night you stay there, even at the rooms with the best available rates. It’s based on a two night minimum, and valid for stays through August 30th, if you book by the end of April.
For reservations call 866 784 1300 or 212 475 4320 and just mention this offer about the second night half off. No need to reveal the source. You are welcome, just please have a drink for me at the Rose Bar, in my book, a top people-watching spot.
http://www.gramercyparkhotel.com

Hush-Hush nighty-night(cap)!

Shhh, don’t tell, but I’m going through an excitingly exploratory clandestine phase (regarding my bar choices that is!). The thrill of being in the know of a “secret” spot is just too seductive to ignore. Ok, ok, there are no real secrets in NY anymore, but still, I’m enjoying the come back of the so-called “speak-easies.” They are charming, usually small, and well disguised. And just because you found the unmarked entrance door, do not expect guaranteed entry. Door policy is randomly finicky as usual, but maybe if you put on your friendly mobster face you’ll pass right through it.

Here are a couple of my favorites:

Milk & Honey: the classic. For years its phone number kept changing and impossible to get, unless you kept up your visits, and got the freshly printed business cards. Recently Sasha P, the master speak-easy mood creator, decided to allow access to their phone number. It’s small, reservation a must, and if you don’t follow the strict conduct rules (be discreet, no gentleman is allowed to introduce himself to the ladies, no boisterous behavior). Keep it in the low guys, or you’ll be escorted out, just like in the old days.
134 Eldridge St (between Broome and Delancey), 718-308-6881

Apotheke: I’m convinced that the wood door at the end of a dark Chinatown alley is a time portal. Large Victorian sofas, spacious Louis XV chaises, the large antique shelves the five-ton marble bar counter stocked with spirits in century-old bottles make this a time warp experience. Just like entering an illicit candle-lit establishment, which, I’m not kidding, used to be an opium den (I told you it gives me goose bumps!).
Finally, the only place worth of calling bartenders: mixologists. Dressed in white gowns, a line of friendly looking “pharmacists” concoct a series of complex beverage recipes to make you feel better. Last night I told Orson (super nice Venezuelan bartender) I needed something bubbly and uplifting. He formulated a beautiful Champagne chilly pepper-infused remedy in a test tube looking tulip glass. Medicate me, I know you’ve got the cure!
9 Doyers St (between Bowery and Pell) 212-406-0400


La Esquina: ok, this is not really a speakeasy style establishment, but how you get into this hot underground spot feels pretty illicit to me. To get into the downstairs restaurant (and bar!) you first enter a tiny shabby looking taqueria (delicious tacos btw). Then you pretend you know where you are going, which is straight ahead, look for the “Employees Only” door. Of course the only tell-tell will be a bouncer or cute hostess hanging just in front of it with an unmistakable smirk on their face as they clutch: THE LIST. You won’t be on the list, but remember you know where you are going. Be nice, and say you are just here for a drink. The narrow stairs to the basement take you straight through the kitchen, careful with the hot plates, and finally, around the sharp corner you’ll discover one the most fun basements in New York City. Decorated like a Mexican garden, this sexy dungeon is bigger then you would think, and the food is delicioso (try the Papa y Chorizo taco)
114 Kenmare Street (corner of Lafayette), 646 613 7100

The Back Room: need inspiration for your fantasy mobster movie script? This is the real thing. A real speakeasy during the 20’s, the adventure to find it is almost as good as the genuine art deco details inside. Pass the metal gate under the “Lower East Side Toy Company,” down the steps through a narrow dark alley and up the metal steps to the old-fashioned door with a peephole. No special knock required, Pheew. Staying true to Prohibition Era conduct, drinks are served in teacups and beer bottles are wrapped in brown bags. You know, to fool the cops.
102 Norfolk St. (between Rivington and Delancey) 212-228-5098

Oh the thrills that come with savoring the “forbidden”... The drinks just taste so much better when you had to sneak around a little to get one!